I told myself I had sworn off briefs. Briefs are for toddlers, hipsters at best. I still remember being around ten years old and begging my mom to buy boxers for me instead, because I felt so embarrassed wearing briefs.
Fast forward to nine years later, and here I am at the bus stop wearing a pair of fire engine red briefs from a little company called Teamm8 and feeling so goddamn trendy I’m about to write an article on why you should buy some too.
These briefs are sexy in the way that Calvin Klein briefs are- they’re not trying too hard to be sexy. They’re a little innocent and coy. They’re completely red, from the waistband to the material to the seams. The only exception to this rule is the white dotted “TEAMM8” on the waistband. Usually I think having designer or company names on the waistband of underwear is super cheesy, but I can’t be the only one who’s kind of charmed by the dotted line lettering look. It’s subtle. Everything about this pair of underwear is subtly sexy.
It’s definitely not the crude, thick cotton of my childhood briefs. But it’s also not so lightweight that they’d be impractical to wear during your daily routine, or that you’d be embarrassed to change in the locker room. It strikes a perfect balance between function and fashion. They’re soft, but they’re tough, and they’re fun to wear. Not to mention that red is really great at resisting stains, which is something that’s not super glamorous but is important.
Something I failed to mention earlier during the ‘appearance’ section is that, while these briefs are comparable to 20th century-style double seat briefs, they’re not identical. While I still stand behind my categorization of these briefs as “subtly sexy”, it’s important to note that they’re definitely more obviously sexy than traditional briefs. They continue the tradition of a wide crotch without much of a ‘pouch’ design, a look that I think contributes almost entirely to the subtle sexuality of this underwear. The main difference is the cut of the underwear around the ass. It’s a widely accepted fact that one of briefs’ greatest downfalls is the saggy ass. Generally, the hems under the cheeks are too low, and the seams along the hips are too loose, and you become, by all qualifications I know of, a Saggy Bottom Boy.
Surprise! Teamm8 makes its underwear differently. Everything cheap brief designers did wrong, Teamm8 has done right. Seriously, butts look super cute in them. Hems were raised, seams were taken in. And I’m a really big fan of the way they look.
I have worn this pair of underwear to school, to work, to the gym, to a hookup. And if I had to put those occasions in order of when these briefs were most useful, I wouldn’t be able to. Honestly, they’re so comfortable that most of the time I forgot I was wearing them. They don’t bind, they don’t wedgie, and they don’t deliver anything but the best.